Now this depresses me.
This is a graph showing spankings by gender on what is probably the most progressive (if white and binary) general-content bdsm/spanking site I know of. By that I mean:
• the company was founded and is run by a woman
• this...

Now this depresses me.

This is a graph showing spankings by gender on what is probably the most progressive (if white and binary) general-content bdsm/spanking site I know of. By that I mean:

  • the company was founded and is run by a woman
  • this woman TOTALLY GETS IT when it comes to gazing at men (and is kinda militant about it, woohoo)
  • the content is wonderful— nice production values, great interactions
  • the content is responsibly produced and fair-trade
  • there’s plenty of variety as far as types of spankings/scenarios/motivations
  • the models are not asked to interact sexually, so when they do it’s genuine (!)
  • includes at least one dominant-bottom/submissive-top spanking  (very hard to find)
  • includes models of fairly diverse body sizes
  • includes queer models
  • includes trans* models
  • no sleazy billing practices


And yet, these numbers.

They’re almost exactly what you’d see anywhere else.


Spankers are evenly matched genderwise (66 scenes with men, 64 with women, and 2 with both)… but when it comes to spankees, the ratio is nearly five to one in favor of women (109 scenes with spanked women versus just 23 with spanked men).



*depressed*

image

theblackminimalist:

invaderpichu:

tonythelion11:

sunandcolor:

whitepeoplesaidwhat:

myskylark21:

audio-sexual:

whitepeoplesaidwhat:

super-sonic87:

LMAO.

All the hate from mad, angry niggers below is glorious.

Looks like they are all in dire need of training. Why not message the blog owner and beg him to train y’all as his nigger slave?

:P

I think someone’s due for a cyanide cocktail, personally.

Oh, look. Racism hidden in a fetishisizing blog. Probably never touched a woman in their life. If you have to demand they call you “daddy”, it’s b/c you don’t know how to do it right.

Oh look another race-card playing moron on the web who doesn’t know what the word racism actually means and who obviously doesn’t have a clue about BDSM. 

Calling a dom master or daddy or something is a sign of respect. But what would you know? You’d probably have to look up how to spell BDSM.

So apparently ~race playing~ means it’s okay to spew racist rhetoric bullshit.

White people said whaaaaaaat?

I DARE somebody to come at me from this position.  As a fellow kinkster, this reeks of fake dom bullshit and so much racism I’m gagging. OP can have all the seats in Ohio Stadium for this FUCKERY.

I don’t think you have a clue what you’re talking about. This doesn’t reek of anything fake. It’s just a pretty standard master / sub relationship with a race angle. Millions of people have relationships like this. You reek of a fake web sub to be honest. Too many angry blacks in this thread who really need to lay off listening to the NAACP and stop hating on people enjoying sex their way. Go find a rape fantasy blog run by a woman and whine she’s betraying her sex.

Honestly, I find the idea of that dude’s blog kinda gross, however there’s nothing illegal about what he’s doing and if people have an issue with it then they don’t need to be reading his blog. It’s obviously a fetish blog with a specific purpose. And ultimately, and what those criticizing this blog don’t seem to understand, is that this man isn’t forcing anyone to do anything. Any black woman he “dominates” is choosing that lifestyle, and it’s up to them whether or not they want to continue participating in that lifestyle or doing any of the activities. These people who are wishing physical harm and death on this guy are truly disgusting. Seriously, what the actual fuck?

Though there is nothing illegal about these sexual encounters; these women, especially woc volunteer themselves for a reason. I truly believe that stigma, statistics, stereotypes, about the genotype of women/*woc have subconsciously and/or consciously swayed these women to manifest malign/unhealthy phenotypes. I agree we can’t intrude on peoples sex lives, we can make efforts to stop these phenotypes by changing interaction. I don’t think that approach is the way to cure this behaviour.

Legality is 100% irrelevant. (I don’t know how many times I have to say it: legal≠ethical. Ethical is a much higher standard.)

Even the hypothetical sub’s hypothetical consent isn’t necessarily the most relevant thing.

What’s definitely relevant is this: Tops have an ethical responsibility not to deliberately do lasting harm to their bottoms. If you found someone who’d been consistently nonconsentually abused to the point that they truly believed themself to be a worthless subhuman fuckhole, would it strike you as “just consensual bdsm fun!” to take them on as a humiliation sub and hit their very real buttons over and over— ie: replicate/continue the trauma? Doing that would cause actual harm. Fuck legal. Would that be right?

Well this is exactly the same thing. 

Taking on a damaged sub and then exploiting their damage for your pleasure and to their real, lasting detriment is PREDATOR BEHAVIOR.

See also: the Campsite Rule of Unbalanced Relationships (the more-empowered partner should “leave it like you found it, or better”).

Not to mention, this is unusually gross even for “raceplay.” (Assuming this prick actually has any partners at all, and this isn’t just an excuse to spew racist crap while holding his dick in his hand.) Stuff like the “she should appreciate that if she lives in a white country in the year 2013…” line, and “beatings by a white man aren’t just wanton violence,” and “blacks are genuinely closer to animals… they are naturally more primitive, more violent” reveal actual racist belief. Repulsive in general, and as far as kink specifically, it kind of precludes safe, bounded play. He’s playing with a collection of stereotypes, not a real person complete with real needs, limits, and reactions. (Frex, in his mind, nothing he does to a black woman sub would be “wanton violence” simply because she’s a black woman. In other words, he thinks it’s just not possible to violate a black fsub. If he does X, then X is okay. Danger Level: HIGH)

But somehow one of the worst things IMO is the idea of extending this dynamic into the public and to all white people. Sick, and also abusive. The public didn’t consent to be part of this fucked-up game. And the sub can apparently be mistreated by anyone (anyone white), to any degree, and he thinks that’s just tits. WTF?

Bottom line, a black female sub playing with this guy would not be safe.

And while I’m at it, seriously, you can all FOAD with this “consent makes anything and everything okay”/”omg KINKSHAMING!1!!” bullshit. Hate to break it to you, but not all consent is equal. Also, your judgement is biased! (Conflict of interest anyone??) So yeah. You’re gonna have to try harder. “Consent” is not a get-out-of-abusership-free card. It is not a “yay now I don’t have to think about their wellbeing, let’s get to the me-orgasming part!” pass.

How to train a nigger female…

submissive-black-women:

This is from my own real life experience. I have had a variety of subs and slaves over the years, not just black ones. With black females, training is much the same as with other women, except with a few extras.

I always impress upon any black submissive female that her colour plays a significant part in how I treat her. I let her know that because she is black, she is inherently inferior to me and my people and this is drummed into her throughout her training.
[…]

When she goes out, I choose for her what she is allowed to wear. As she is a black female, the clothes I choose for her usually maximise the sluttiness of her body.
[…]

From the moment the relationship starts, she may only ever address me as ‘Sir’, ‘Master’ or ‘Daddy’. This applies not only in the house but in front of her friends and out in public too.

Any black submissive I have learns that she is below any other sub I have of another colour. She is of course below white subs and even below Asian ones. I may allow the other subs to beat her or use her for their amusement and she learns to serve them when I’m not around, if I allow it.

There is even a hierarchy with black slaves. Those with very dark skin and heavy African features are the lowest of the low and inferior to light skinned black women with more Western features.

For any black slave, part of her teachings regarding her inferior status involves instructing her how to behave around white people as a whole, not just me.
[…]

Her demeanour towards white people should always be respectful and obedient. She should never raise her voice to a white person and she should always go out of her way to make sure she never offends one.

She should appreciate that if she lives in a white country in the year 2013 she has a better quality of life than 90% of blacks living in the world; and she should be forever grateful for the opportunities white people have afforded her, which, she doesn’t really deserve.

Blacks are genuinely closer to animals than other races in some regards, which is why as a people their countries are so far behind everyone else’s. They are naturally more primitive, more violent and more given to base, carnal desires.

If blacks are not closely controlled and not regularly beaten to discourage anti-social behaviour, they become violent and detrimental to society.
[…]

Nigger females should be taught from the beginning that their body is the main reason why their white master wants them. Her main role in life is to use her 3 holes to pleasure his dick as and when he chooses.
[…]

As mentioned, beatings should be frequent and black women, with their bigger bottoms are well suited to being beaten. As part of their culture too, they are used to being physically dominated, even by their own bestial nigger males.

However, beatings by a white man aren’t just wanton violence - they are educational lessons and she is expected to learn from them.

Humiliation and objectification also play a part in helping to break her down as a person and remove from her any poisonous notion installed into her by society that she is inherently worth anything more than being a fuck-toy for men.

When she isn’t being beaten, fucked or put to work, I will often leave her chained up or tied up.
[…]

If she has a job, then her salary should be paid into his bank account. She should have no money of her own unless he says otherwise - everything she needs will be bought by him. Her possessions should be turned over to him and her passport and other official documentation should be given to him upon moving in. She should be totally reliant upon him for existence.

From the moment she moves in with him, her whole life has one meaning - to please him. Nothing else matters.
[…]

There is plenty more but this isn’t the place for large essays. Any questions or comments, feel free to message me.

Any place this guy is comfortable is a place I don’t want to be.

guess so

guess so

shitdomssay:
“    fuckholes-tits:
“    It’s not the physical pain what hurts the most, it’s the mental pain…the fact that we can slap you as long as we want, we own you, your body, we decide how long we will hurt you and how intense…..give...

shitdomssay:

fuckholes-tits:

It’s not the physical pain what hurts the most, it’s the mental pain…the fact that we can slap you as long as we want, we own you, your body, we decide how long we will hurt you and how intense…..give yourself….we’ll continue till you are mentally broken and do for us whatever we want….

This caption makes this absolutely terrifying and not in a good way either.

nuff said

unclemike666:
“   why waterboard a prisoner of war when you can r@pe?
”
and there it is

unclemike666:

why waterboard a prisoner of war when you can r@pe?

and there it is

masterboibinder:
“    “I have a dream, boy… a dream where all Men may be created equal but I believe you know, deep down, boys like you are not My equal… you are a slave, boy… an inferior slave who needs to learn who the Superior Man is around here....

masterboibinder:

“I have a dream, boy… a dream where all Men may be created equal but I believe you know, deep down, boys like you are not My equal… you are a slave, boy… an inferior slave who needs to learn who the Superior Man is around here.  If I remove that gag, are you ready to submit to My dream, slaveboy? Are you ready to surrender and show Me how much you want to march out of here on all fours like the inferior white slave dog we both know you are, slaveboy?”

You did not.

beyondthevalleyofthefemdoms:
“   freyasfancy:
“   It’s like I say…cocks don’t lie, do they?
”
I’ve decided I’m going to start using a new tag. #In The Valley will be used to criticize images that have harmful messages that are commonly found in BDSM...

beyondthevalleyofthefemdoms:

freyasfancy:

It’s like I say…cocks don’t lie, do they?

I’ve decided I’m going to start using a new tag. #In The Valley will be used to criticize images that have harmful messages that are commonly found in BDSM culture. I’ll also use appropriate trigger warnings so people can use Tumblr Savior to avoid things that might be particularly harmful to them on an individual level. Other people are welcome to use the #In the Valley tag for their own criticism.

This particular rant isn’t about female dominants, but it is about an idea that seems to proliferate in heterosexual femdom culture. That idea is that if a cis man (or person of other gender with external genitalia, but usually a cis man) is hard, that equals some kind of expression of desire or consent.

Not only is this idea not true, but it can lead to rape and sexual assault of cis male submissives and bottoms, or submissives and bottoms who have external genitalia in general (although in my experience, queer culture seems more aware of the fact that engorged external genitalia ≠ consent).

The only way to know if someone wants to do a certain thing is if they explicitly say, “yes, I want to do this thing.” People with external genitalia can get erections for an assortment of reasons, some of which don’t involve being turned on. And even if someone IS hard because they’re turned on, that doesn’t mean that they feel OK about doing a particular thing. People can get turned on by things they find triggering, for example. And if you’re a good person, you don’t want to trigger your partner (exception: there are some kinds of edge play that involve consensual triggering. However, that kind of play also needs to be EXPLICITLY NEGOTIATED AND CONSENSUAL in order to be ethical).


Listen to what your submissives, bottoms, and partners of other stripes say with their mouths, if you don’t want to be a rapist. I don’t think I can be any clearer than that.

Thank you.

Not only can it lead to sexual assault, it’s one of the biggest things that keeps penis-owning assault victims from reporting after the fact, because they’re not taken seriously. Which leads to more assault. And so on. Rape culture, you might have heard about it.

It may be a hot thing for you to think about, and that’s fine. But you must recognize that at that point you’re fantasizing. As in, fantasy. As in, alternate universe. As in, not reality. It’s like… it’s the difference between fantasizing about Femdom Island or Gor or whatever, and actually believing that subs have no rights.


#male rape myths
#the Pirate Problem

crashntumble:

dominantlife:

5 Languages of Love

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Truths To Live By

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

26 Baby Girl Jobs

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

50 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

Aftercare For Dominants

Age Play: A Short Guide

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Ask A Million And One Questions

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Basics of Breath Play

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Feminist Submissive

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

Finding Your Dominant

Getting Started in D/s: Defining your Relationship Needs

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

Guide To Bruising

Guide to Consent

Help For New Doms

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Find A Dom

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Meditation And Mindfulness

Novice Submissives

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

Online Aftercare

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK.

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

So you want to be a Dom?

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Some LIttle Rules All Daddies Should Know

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

When He Doesn’t Call

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Your Rights As A Submissive

bleh

on about a dozen different levels, bleh.

with liberal doses of sigh, grr, fuck this, and oh for fuck’s sake.


This is seriously one of the most depressing things I’ve seen in weeks. I can’t even believe the note counts on some of this crap. 

So much fail, both meta and direct. Individually, they're… not great. But putting them all together like this… jesus. I barely have the words. Let’s just say, it’s worse than the sum of its parts. So much worse.

The assumptions! The essentialism! The schizophrenia! 
The repetitiveness. The endlessly regurgitated dogma.
The total, exclusive focus on M/f.
The near-complete lack of qualification.

And the worst thing about this— the absolute worst, most depressing thing— is that this is totally representative.

98% crap and 2% potentially useful information? Yeah, that’s pretty standard.
Lord save me from internexperts. Lord save me from 4th-wave kink.

Ugh.

bdsmplayground:
“     Some basic knots for beginners :)
Cheers Kiki
”
*sigh*
do you hear that?
it’s the sound of all those beginners running away.

bdsmplayground:

Some basic knots for beginners :) 

Cheers Kiki

*sigh*

do you hear that?

it’s the sound of all those beginners running away.