Just one reason. It don’t even have to be a good one.
Gunplay terrifies me.
I like guns, to be perfectly honest with you — find them interesting machines — and I’ve always been curious about what it feels like to be shot. Seeing guns used in sexual situations, though— it makes everything in me just clench in cold horror.
Guns are a kind of void; they lack an opinion on the subject, they will shoot wherever they’re aimed. What matters is the capricious will of the person who holds the gun. The gun may not kill people (as the NRA says), but it makes it a whole hell of a lot easier (as Eddie Izzard says). So shoving a gun in someone’s mouth— it’s not just a dick replacement, it’s using a dick replacement to kill the person. When you’re using a knife, when you’re infecting someone, it’s personal. The gun, even this close, implies a level of detachment.
It’s an intense threat. I can see why it’s hot, I think, because of that detachment and that threat. But— oh, god, what terror it gives me!
This is a fairly common depiction of gunplay.
Gunplay perhaps “terrifies” me, but in a different way. A meta way. This commenter gets at my problem at bit: the idea of gun-as-penis and vice versa— penis as weapon— I don’t like it. It’s just too real. Too true.
It’s just too true that people use penises to threaten and injure. I mean, it’s really very disturbing if you think about it. The more you zoom out, the worse it gets. What are handguns for? They’re for killing humans, or at least wounding them gravely. That is literally their only purpose. They’re for harming (and as such, they’re a threat). Now: consider your penis a gun. See the problem? The leap from that idea to rape is a really short one.
So yeah. The edges are far too blurry; I can’t fantasize it. I can’t/don't believe it’s merely a fantasy— there’s a real belief there that I don’t believe can be turned off. Not least because people don’t even realize it’s on in the first place. The idea just sort of filters in unnoticed: penises hurt. I mean, I think it’s pretty arguable that this idea is why people conflate dominance and penises. Penis=weapon → weapon=power → penis=power.
Maybe “terrorizes” is a better word.
It scares me deeply to see people wallowing in this idea, thoughtlessly cementing it with possibly the greatest human training tool there is— sexual pleasure. As a woman, this threat is very real to me. It applies to me in a very direct way, all the time, everywhere. It’s not something I can forget. I suspect I’m not meant to be able to forget it.
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